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It has been exactly one week to the day since that fateful visit to the vet. Since then, I have not been allowed off of the lead, my mum has changed my food to some organic shit and the gravy bones that I loved so much have been swapped for (but will never be replaced by) oat and peanut biscuits!
I had almost come to terms with losing my most valuable and impressive assets, that stupid cone thing they put on my head that seemed to make every corner an automatic challenge went within a couple of days and I have even refrained from licking my stitches in an attempt to prevent my mum removing any more of my anatomy.
What I really just can not come to terms with is the lead. Granted, it is longer than the last one, but I am a whippet cross. Has she never heard the phrase 'like a whippet?' It means really really fast and gives a hint that we might like to run a bit. What is more is that whilst on this lead- that is supposed to protect me- I got humped today by a labrador called Spike. They have taken my balls, they can take my sexuality, but they will never take my freedom.
As William Wallace (or at least Mel Gibson in the film Braveheart) once said: 'It's all for nothing, if you don't have freedom.' What do we want? Freedom! When do we want it? Now!
I had almost come to terms with losing my most valuable and impressive assets, that stupid cone thing they put on my head that seemed to make every corner an automatic challenge went within a couple of days and I have even refrained from licking my stitches in an attempt to prevent my mum removing any more of my anatomy.
What I really just can not come to terms with is the lead. Granted, it is longer than the last one, but I am a whippet cross. Has she never heard the phrase 'like a whippet?' It means really really fast and gives a hint that we might like to run a bit. What is more is that whilst on this lead- that is supposed to protect me- I got humped today by a labrador called Spike. They have taken my balls, they can take my sexuality, but they will never take my freedom.
As William Wallace (or at least Mel Gibson in the film Braveheart) once said: 'It's all for nothing, if you don't have freedom.' What do we want? Freedom! When do we want it? Now!
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